12 Hilarious ‘Billy Madison’ Quotes

Like John Belushi, Eddie Murphy, Bill Murray, Mike Meyers, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph—and many others—after graduating from the cast of Saturday Night Live, Adam Sandler went on to forge a successful film career, including playing the title role in the 1995 comedy hit, Billy Madison. Billy Madison is 100% Adam Sandler Whether you love him or hate him, Sandlers over-the-top kind of comedy isnt for everyone and Billy Madison is a signature Adam Sandler movie, complete with in-your-face gags, sexual innuendo, and anything-but-subtle punch lines. Chris Farley and Norm MacDonald, two more SNL alums, add to the raunchy fun. (If you like your movies politically correct, steer clear of this one.) In the title role of Billy Madison, Sandler goes a long way toward redefining the term idiot but hes not a lost cause. True, Madison may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, and yet your heart still goes out to him because while he may think before he acts or say whatever pops into his head without a filter, he hasnt got a truly malicious bone in his body. Like fellow film comedian Jim Carrey, while Sandlers repertoire relies heavily on goofy antics and physical comedy to draw his audience in, the larger appeal is their ability to be hilarious in an annoying sort of way—and yet remain endearing on at least some level. One of the reasons that Billy Madison is a favorite among younger audiences is that Billys cartoonish behavior isnt threatening or judgmental. Kids connect with Sandler as a man-boy who understands the challenges of what it means to be a kid because hes never really grown up himself. Billy Madison Quotes Mr. Madison, what youve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.—Principal Back to school. Back to school, to prove to Dad that Im not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I dont get in a fight. Oh! Back to school... back to school... back to school. Well, here goes nothing.—Billy Madison​Well, sorry doesnt put the Triscuit crackers in my stomach now, does it Karl?—Eric Have some more sloppy Joes. I made em extra sloppy for yous. I know how yous kids like em sloppy.—Lunch Lady Sometimes I feel like an idiot. But I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.—Billy Madison If youre gonna stay home today, you can help me shave my armpits!—Jaunita I am the smartest man alive!—Billy Madison Ooh, that boys a fine piece of work all right. Hes a fine piece of ass though, too.—Jaunita What is a horseshoe? What does a horseshoe do? Are there any horse socks? Is anybody listening to me?—Old Lady If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.—Old Farm Lady You were brought up with every advantage. I bought you everything. Toys, cars, vacations, clothes...—Brian Madison When I graduated from first grade, all my dad did was tell me to get a job.—Frank